


second star to the right, and straight on till morning

by aeoleus



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, Iron Dad, Really truly tragic, The Decimation, post infinity war pre endgame, the snap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 14:23:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19947607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeoleus/pseuds/aeoleus
Summary: Morgan Stark grows older, Peter Parker does not.And Tony finds himself in the middle of a landslide, holding a broken picture frame on his kitchen floor.





	second star to the right, and straight on till morning

Tony is mindlessly washing dishes, wondering whether Dum-E needs a software upgrade or if he can get away with just a patch for a little longer, when it happens. He reaches up to put away a wine glass and he knocks over nearly half a shelf. 

“Fuck.” He mutters, then immediately looks up to see if his overly-perceptive daughter is anywhere in earshot. After no pint-sized “fuck” is repeated to him, he crouches down to assess the damage.

He’s broken some trinkets, a glass from Berlin, and a- oh.

A picture frame.

He and a young teenaged boy holding up bunny ears behind each other, an internship certificate upside down between them. Crinkled eyes and big grins and.

Peter.

Tony is nearly knocked down onto the floor in a rush of massive, overwhelming grief.

* * *

“Keep it up, and I’ll sell all your toys, Parker.” Tony threatens.

Peter cackles, fucking _cackles, the nerve of this boy,_ and pushes down his soldering goggles again to finish repairing one of Tony’s old V8s. 

“What?” He asks innocently. “I only insinuated that you were too old to see the the wire that got knocked out of place and that’s why my suit malfunctioned-“ 

“ _Too old_ -“ Tony sputters. “Kid, these too-old eyes are the ones that built your suit in the first place. I brought Spider Man into this world, and I’ll take him-“

“-back out,” Peter finishes. “Yeah, yeah, I know, _dad_.” Peter says with an eye roll evident in his voice, though the physical evidence is hidden behind his goggles, but Tony’s heart skips a beat anyway.

“That’s right spider-ling, and you better remember it.” Tony says, with what he hopes is a magnanimous wave of his hands. Judging by the way Peter snorts with laughter, it’s not.

* * *

“Daddy.”

“Dad-dy”

“DAD!”

Morgan finally tugs hard enough on Tony’s sleeve to startle him.

“Hey, Morguna.” He croaks out, and he sweeps her into his arms and settles her on his lap, away from the broken glass.

“You’re crying.” She says solemnly. Her little hands reach for his stubble. She’s getting so big, so gentle and kind like her mother. 

“Yeah, little miss, I guess I am.” Tony uses the sleeve of his shirt to wipe his cheeks.

“Why?”

“Uh, I miss someone.”

“Who?”

Someday, Tony would be so grateful for his daughter’s inquisitive mind, her insatiable curiosity about everything from the mechanics of a toaster to how dolphins survive underwater. But not today. Not while he was staring at the shattered glass of a picture frame containing Peter Parker, grinning goofily as he held bunny ears up behind Tony’s head.

“Peter.” He says quietly. His name sounds wrong in his mouth, after so many years of avoiding it all together.

“Peter?”

“He, uh, I used to work with Pete. He’s older than you.”

“Oh.” Morgan stares at the picture in Tony’s lap and runs her fingers over Peter’s face. “Where is he?”

Tony’s vision clouds over, and he tightens his grip on his daughter.

_“I don’t wanna go. Please, Mr. Stark, don’t make me go.” Peter’s fingers gripping his shirt, his eyes terrified and wide. Every part of him turning to dust and disappearing in Tony’s hands. Tony waited, begged, to be next. To not be left with this burden. But fate has never been on his side._

“He’s gone.” Pepper’s voice, soft and gentle, enters, and when he feels her hands snake around his shoulder, a kiss drop to his head, the fog lifts a bit from his eyes. “We lost him a few years back. But Daddy loves him very much still, and won’t ever forget him.”

He’s crying again, he knows, and this time it’s Pepper thumbing away the tears.

Morgan is squirming in his lap, and Tony lets go, only to find her little arms wrapping around his neck.

“It’s okay to be sad, Daddy.” She whispers.

“Thanks, baby.” Tony says hoarsely. “I love you so much.”

“ I love you more.”

* * *

It’s later, much later, after Morgan has been tucked into bed, and then retucked into bed, after escaping and having to be bribed with another bedtime story, that Tony settles down at his workstation by the stairs, and pulls up a file that has been locked for years.

“Are you sure, boss?” Friday asks.

“Yes.” Tony says. “I’m sure.”

“Accessing File _Underoos_.”

Documents and pictures appear before Tony’s eyes. There was that letter to the dean of MIT he had started writing after beginning to bug Pete about college applications. His internship paperwork. Some bullshit scholarship he was planning on using as a front to fund as many degrees Peter wanted to get. Pictures of them at the compound. In the lab. At some internship event Peter had blackmailed him into attending. Schematics for Iron Spider, preliminary measurements for a new stealth suit.

The provision in his will he had drawn up, but never placed, naming Peter a majority shareholder of Stark Industries, should he complete certain requirements, and should he consent to it.

Tony is nearly choked with the cruelty of it. That at every passing birthday, as his daughter grows older, he is reminded that Peter is frozen in time as a fifteen year old, that he will never get a chance to go to college, start a family, run a business.

That Tony will never get to goad him into talking about his first significant other until his face is red with embarrassment, or watch him cross the stage at his high school graduation. Never be able to force the Jeep that he’d already bought on him after he got his license, watch him meet Morgan.

“Shut it off.” He chokes out, and Friday turns off the hologram immediately.

“Boss, your heart rate is elevated to an alarming rate. According to the “ _should probably be on medication_ ” Protocol, you are most likely experiencing a panic attack, and I am to alert Ms. Potts.”

“No, Friday-“ but the A.I. doesn’t respond in time, and less than a minute later, Tony hears Pepper’s footsteps on the stairs.

“Tony?” She says. “What’s wrong”

“Sorry.” He pulls down his shirt and tips his head back, trying to force more air into his lungs. “I just. Did something dumb.”

“Hmm.” Pepper places a calming hand on his shoulder, and taps through the display on the table. “Oh.” She says softly, understanding. “Oh, Tony.”

“I didn’t mean to trigger, uh, this.” He gestures at himself, and Pepper smiles sadly at him.

“I know you didn’t. You miss him.”

“Yeah.” Tony says. He curls his hand around Pepper’s wrist. The years and the grief have worn him down, and words come easier than they ever have. Especially to Pepper. “But I- it just hit me. Morgan is growing up. Peter-“

“-never will.” She finishes. “And that’s horrible.”

Tony is silent.

“It wasn’t your fault.” Pepper continues. “You tried so hard. You gave everything you had.”

Tony still doesn’t answer. There is nothing he can say to that Pepper doesn’t already know.

“You loved him so much, Tony. He knew you did. And he loved you too. That made a difference.”

“You think he knew?” Tony asks quietly. “I never...”

“Tony.” Pepper fixes him with a steady gaze. “He knew.”

Tony fiddles with Pepper’s sleeve.

They stay quiet.

“Let’s go to bed.” Pepper says, a while later.

“Yeah.”

And Tony gets up and follows her up the stairs, leaving Peter and his letters and photos, locked away again, frozen in time, never to age.

* * *

_And perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone._ \- Madeline Miller

**Author's Note:**

> Talk to me on tumblr @ta1k-less.


End file.
